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Injury Prevention |
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When should I start talking?
You have already started. Before you have said a word, your children have been observing how you and other family members use and talk about alcohol and marijuana.
Share your beliefs and values that have developed from your culture, heritage, religion and life experiences.
- Talking helps your teen understand your beliefs and practices.
- Talking helps your teen make informed decisions.
- Talking to your child will not encourage them to use alcohol or marijuana.
- Talking does not mean you agree with their behaviour if they are experimenting.
- Teens need to know what you think and expect from them.
How can I start the conversation?
Start the conversation when you are both relaxed and not rushed. Look for opportunities that come up naturally, for example:
- A television program or movie that shows teens using alcohol or marijuana.
- When alcohol or marijuana is being discussed at school.
- When your teen makes a joke about drinking or getting high.
Don't try to talk to teens when they have been drinking or are high. Put the discussion on hold until your teen is sober.
The most important thing you can share with your teen is that you care about him or her, and that you want to talk about issues such as alcohol and marijuana use.
Prepare to talk
You may want to practice what you will say with a trusted person before you speak to your teen.
If you have a partner, or if there is another adult in the home, you may want to discuss with them how you would like to address important issues like alcohol and marijuana, so that the message about substance use is consistent for your teen.
Listen and get feedback
Talking with your teen and listening to your teen are both important. Stay calm even if you hear things that you may not like or agree with.
Listen carefully to what your teen is saying. Don't jump to conclusions. If you are not sure what they mean, repeat back what you understood and ask if that is correct.
If you are discussing something that happened, ask your teen's opinion. For example, "In the movie John was grounded for a month for drinking. Do you think that was fair?" or "What could Jane have said to her parent to help them understand why she was drinking?"
Give your teen the opportunity to tell you how they are feeling. Teens are learning how to put their opinions into words that truly reflect what they mean to say.
Keep talking - your teen is listening
Don't be discouraged if your conversation doesn't go well. Talking to
teens about alcohol and marijuana isn't completed in one conversation. You or your teen can choose to close the conversation
and try again another time.
Even if it looks like your teen isn't listening, they are. Research shows
that adults and parents do matter to teens.
Keep the conversation going.
Answers to questions parents frequently ask
- How do I handle questions about my own drinking?
Decide ahead of time how much you want to say. For example, if your teen asks if you ever got drunk, you might say: "I have been
in some situations that I would not like to see you in."
If you choose not to talk about your past experiences because you feel this could be too distracting, you might say: "I've really been thinking about this discussion and what I want to say to you. Let's focus on some situations that may be unsafe and what to do."
Be a positive role model. If you are using alcohol or prescription medication, use them responsibly.
- If I'm not comfortable talking with my teen, what should I do?
If you can't talk to your teen about alcohol and drug use, link them to a responsible adult you both trust. And keep talking about the small things - this keeps the relationship with your children open. Teens need to feel supported.
You don't have to have all the answers right away. It's fine to say "I don't know, but I will find out" or "I will have to think about that and get back to you."
Do some reading about alcohol and marijuana so that you have the facts. Avoid making assumptions and generalizations.
- What if my teen is already using marijuana?
Many teens use marijuana occasionally to experiment with it out of curiosity. Generally marijuana use decreases as they get older,
but some teens develop problems using marijuana. Marijuana use can lead to addiction for some people.
Talk to your teen about how they use marijuana. It may be a puff with a circle of friends at a party. Or it could be a larger amount alone or with friends with the intention of getting high. Ask how frequently this happens. Maybe they don't know how to say no (and still feel good about themselves) and would practice with you. Express your concern for your teen's safety by reviewing the risks related to marijuana use.
If your teen has questions about their use ask them to try a self assessment tool.
Your teen can also check out What's With Weed. This website was developed for youth by youth.
If your teen has developed a problem, then they may need treatment. Recognize the signs of problematic use, especially a change in friends, need for money, mood changes, and significant changes in behaviour.
Remember that you are not alone. There are 24-hour phone lines as well as support, information and treatment services to call during business hours.
What else should my teen know?
Drinking, driving and the law
Drinking affects judgement and slows reaction time.
Police officers can ask any driver to provide a breath sample to approximate the blood alcohol content (BAC). If the BAC is between 0.05% and 0.08%, the police can take away the person's licence for 12 hours.
As of June 2008, new legislation allows police to make drivers suspected of impairment to take a roadside test, such as walking a straight line.
Drivers can also be taken to a police station for more intensive tests. If they fail those, they could be ordered to give a blood, urine or saliva sample.
Refusing the roadside test would be a criminal offence, as is the case for refusing a breathalyzer.
Effective August 1, 2010, both novice drivers of any age and all drivers 21 and under - regardless of licence class - must have a blood alcohol level of zero when operating a motor vehicle.
A novice driver caught with any amount of alcohol in their blood, will receive an immediate 24-hour roadside driver licence suspension. If convicted, the person will be subject to a fine from $60 - $500 and will receive a suspension period as per the Novice Driver Escalating Sanction scheme up to and including cancellation of the novice licence. They would have to return to the start of Ontario's Graduated Licensing System (GLS).
A fully licensed driver who is 21 and under and caught with alcohol in their blood, will receive a 24-hour roadside driver licence suspension. If convicted, the person will be subject to a fine of $60 - $500 and a 30-day licence suspension.
Mixing alcohol and drugs is risky
Mixing alcohol with any other drug can be risky (this includes prescription, over-the-counter, as well as illegal drugs). Alcohol can decrease or increase the effects of one or both of the drugs, or cause a completely different, unexpected effect.
If your teen is taking prescription medication, ask them to talk to their doctor or pharmacist about any risks of combining the medication with alcohol or other drugs.
Mixing energy caffeine drinks with alcohol has become popular at bars, clubs and parties. This is a risky combination. Caffeine is a stimulant and masks the effects of alcohol. This can lead people to underestimate how drunk they are.
Recommended resource
Ten tips for talking to your kids about substance use
Teens, Alcohol & Marijuana: Stay a Step Ahead
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