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Sexual Health Information |
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Communication
Communication in a relationship is what makes it work. In a relationship, people need to let each other know what they want, how they feel and what concerns them.
Poor communication in other areas of a relationship can affect the sexual aspect of a relationship.
Communication styles
Some people are verbal - they state clearly what is on their mind. Others communicate through body language. Most people use a little of both.
It takes time to learn another person's style of communication.
Trying to read a person's mood can be difficult. It may be better to ask how a person is feeling.
Sexual Cues
Sexual cues can be misinterpreted right from the start. A person may think someone is attracted to them. They may even think they want to make love. This may or may not be true. The only way to give a clear message is to state it directly.
The First Time
Being direct may mean a person saying, "I want to make love with you. Do you want to make love with me?"
If the answer is, "yes", more communication is needed. Preventing Sexually Transmitted Infections and pregnancy are issues that might need to be discussed.
When making love for the first time, partners need to communicate to each other what they find pleasurable, so they are both enjoying the experience.
The idea is to build honesty into the relationship from the beginning. Sex therapists suggest people say things in a positive way, while letting their partners know what they want. For example, "I like it better when you touch me there more softly."
Taking things more slowly
There are advantages to taking things more slowly. While people are exploring each other's bodies, without having sex, there are sexual lessons to learn. There are also lessons to be learned about each other; more opportunities to communicate. Postponing certain sexual activities (like sexual intercourse) can enable a couple to prepare and protect themselves and each other.
Whether starting a relationship or keeping an old one healthy, communication is key.
For more information:
AIDS and Sexual Health InfoLine 1-800-668-2437
Toronto Health Connection 416-338-7600
Relationship quiz (PDF file size 24KB)
Toronto Sexual Health Clinics
Safer Sex
Sexual Assault
Birth Control
STIs
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