Toilet Learning

All children learn at a different pace. Try to make toilet learning a positive and encouraging experience.

What to expect:

  • Most children are ready to begin toilet learning between 2 and 4 years old.
  • Be patient – it can take 3-6 months before a child is mostly dry.
  • It’s normal for children to have accidents (wetting or soiling) for a year or more after toilet learning begins.
  • If your child doesn’t show interest in using the toilet after a couple of weeks:
    • Pause and try again a few weeks or months later.
    • Your child may not be ready yet.

Your child may be ready to start using the toilet when they can:

  • Tell you they need to go to the bathroom
  • Understand simple directions
  • Feel uncomfortable in wet or dirty diapers
  • Notice when they are peeing or having bowel movements
  • Pull their pants up and down and can sit on a potty or toilet
  • Stay dry in their diaper for 1-2 hours
  • Dress your child in clothes that are easy to pull up and down.
  • Teach your child words to use for body parts, peeing and pooping. Avoid using words like “stinky” or “dirty” to prevent embarrassment.
  • Consider purchasing a potty – it’s portable, child-sized and can be placed close to where your child is playing.
  • The potty is easier for your child to use on their own.
  • Show your child the toilet and potty, and explain what they are for.
  • Let your child watch you use the toilet or pretend to help a doll or stuffed animal use the potty.
  • Encourage your child to sit on the toilet or potty with clothing on and off.
  • Use a waterproof mattress cover under the bed sheet to protect the mattress from accidents.
  • Read books about toilet learning together. Visit your local library and ask a librarian for suggestions.
  • Teach your child how to wipe properly and wash their hands after using the toilet.
  • Involve your child in creating a daily routine they can follow.

When your child is ready, it is important to go slowly and be patient.

  • Make time each day to help your child get use to using the toilet or potty.
  • Watch for cues that let you know your child needs to use the toilet (e.g., squirming, holding themselves, or hiding).
  • Place your child on the toilet or potty at regular times such as after waking up, after meals and snacks, and before naps and bedtime.
  • Do not force your child to sit on the toilet or potty.
  • Keep your child’s diaper off during the day when at home.
  • Praise your child for their efforts, not just their successes. Consider offering rewards such as stickers, when they tell you they have to pee or have a bowel movement, or when they try to sit on the toilet or potty.
  • Plan for accidents with a change of clothes and stay positive. There’s always next time!
  • Let your child choose their own underwear once they begin to have some success – this can be a fun and motivating milestone.
  • Remind your child to wash their hands after using the toilet.

Remember

  • Every child learns at their own pace.
  • Stay at home for the first few days of toilet learning.
  • Choose a time when the family is relaxed.
  • Avoid toilet learning if your child is upset or not ready.
  • Children often gain control of their bowel movements before their urine, but may learn in either order.
  • Children usually learn to stay dry during the day before they learn to stay dry at night. Staying dry at night may take many months.
  • Do not punish, shame or blame your child for accidents.
  • Bedwetting is when your child accidentally urinates (pees) during sleep.
  • Bedwetting is very common in children and they do not wet the bed on purpose.
  • Most children learn to use the toilet during the day before they are able to stay dry through the night.
  • Contact your health care provider if bedwetting worries you or your child, or if it interferes with your child’s daily activities or things they want to do.
  • Your child isn’t using the toilet by age 4
  • Your child is having hard or painful bowel movements, has blood in the stool, or is withholding stools.
  • Your child starts having accidents again after many months of using the toilet or potty.
  • Your child develops redness or a rash around their genitals, has foul smelling or cloudy urine, or suddenly starts peeing more frequently.
  • To learn more, visit Bedwetting by Caring for Kids (Canadian Paediatric Society).

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