Parenting can be very rewarding – but it can also be stressful! Balancing family responsibilities, work and personal needs isn’t always easy. When stress builds up it can affect both your emotions and your body. You might feel tired, angry, depressed, anxious, or even guilty. Physical signs like skin rashes, headaches, digestive problems or backaches can also appear.
Stress can’t always be avoided but here’s what you can do to make it easier to manage:
Make Time for Yourself
Parents want the best for their children – and that starts with taking care of yourself. When you feel healthy and balanced, you are better able to manage the challenges of parenting.
Here are some ways to recharge and reduce stress:
- Slow down and relax: take a few minutes each day to breathe deeply or do something calming
- Eat well: Nourishing your body helps keep your energy and mood steady
- Make sleep a priority: Create a bedtime routine and aim for at least 7 hours of sleep each night.
- Move your body: Physical activity can boost your mood and relieve stress and tension. Go for a walk, stretch, dance to your favourite song.
- Learn something new: Find new ideas or skills that interest you.
- Take quiet time: Find a peaceful moment for yourself each day, even it’s just 10 minutes.
- Connect with others: Meet with other parents or join a parenting group
- Talk about it: Share your feelings with someone you trust – your partner, family member, friend or counsellor/therapist
Take Care of your Relationships
Good relationships help you feel supported and less stressed. This can be with a partner, family or friends. A healthy relationship is one where both partners:
- feel respected and cared for
- talk honestly and listen to each other
- share chores and responsibilities
- trust each other
- solve problems fairly
- make decisions together
If you are raising children on your own, stay connected with friends, family or a support group. Talking and sharing can make parenting easier.
Dealing With Anger
Feeling angry is normal – it happens. All parents get angry sometimes. What matters is what you do next. Acting in anger can hurt you and your family. Learn ways to calm down before things get out of control. If you lose your temper with your child, role model self-care and relationship repair:
- Calm down first: Take some deep slow breaths or step away for a minute.
- Say sorry: Get down on your child’s level and tell your child you are sorry. Eg “I’m sorry I yelled. I was upset, but that wasn’t okay”
- Explain simply: Let your child know why you were upset without blaming them.
- Show love: Give them a hug, spend a few minutes together, tell them you love them. Never hit, hurt or shame your child and never shake a baby.
- Learn from it: think about what made you angry and what you can do differently next time.
Remember, saying sorry and making things right teaches your child that everyone makes mistakes and how to fix them.
Never shake a baby out of anger. If you ever feel you are so angry you may hurt your baby try these simple steps:
- Put the baby in a safe place such as a crib.
- Leave the room.
- Try to calm down by taking several deep slow breaths.
- Ask for help. Call a friend, family member, public health department, leader of your faith community, social service agency or the distress line 416-408-HELP (4357).
Family Violence
Violence at home is never okay. It can harm parents, children and families for a long time.
Call 911 if you are if you are in an emergency, immediate danger, or medical distress.
- Family violence is abuse that happens in a family or close relationship.
- It includes hitting, hurting, threats or controlling behaviour between family members or partners.
- When children see abuse, it hurts them both physically and emotionally. Children who see abuse are more likely to:
- be abused
- abuse others when they grow up
- Feel scared, anxious or angry.
- You are not alone. It’s okay to talk to someone you trust and get support.
- Family violence should not be kept a secret.
- Both the person being hurt and the person using abuse need support and help to change.
Where to Get Help
- Toronto Public Health: 416-338-7600 from 8:30 am to 4:30 pm
- Assaulted Women’s Helpline: 416-863-0511 or 1-866-863-0511 (24/7)
- Kids Help Phone: 1-800-668-6868
- Shelter safe
- Government of Canada – Stop Family Violence
