Building Resilience in Children

Resilience is not something you are born with. It’s something that gets built over time.

Early Experiences Shape Your Child’s Growing Brain

Positive and loving relationships play an important role in helping your child’s brain grow and develop. Learn simple ways to support your child’s healthy brain development and build a strong foundation for success in school, relationships and throughout life.

Stress plays a role in shaping your child’s brain. Not all stress is the same. Some stress can be good for brain development and some stress can be toxic and change the way the brain develops. Supportive and stable relationships with caring adults can help protect children from the effects of toxic stress.

For more information about stress:

Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) are potentially stressful or traumatic experiences that occur before the age of 18.

ACEs may include:

  • Abuse or neglect
  • Growing up in poverty or facing discrimination
  • Seeing or experiencing violence in the community
  • Household challenges such as mental illness, substance use or divorce

ACEs can affect a person’s health and development for their entire life. Without support, ACEs can lead to toxic stress, which harms the brain and body. This can increase a person’s risk of negative health outcomes later in life, such as cancer, heart disease, problematic use of alcohol or drugs, and depression.

ACEs are common and affect many people. Stressful or traumatic experiences early in life often happen because of social problems like the community where you live, or trauma passed down from your parents. Big issues like racism, poverty, and being left out can keep these problems going. These issues can put a lot of stress on parents, making it harder for them to care for their children.

Resilience means being able to stay healthy and strong, even when life is hard. Resilience doesn’t prevent stress or difficulties from happening, it helps you face challenges and keep going even when things are difficult. With the right help and supports, people can have positive outcomes even after negative experiences. You can build resilience at any age, but it’s easiest in early childhood.

You can build resilience by:

  • Lowering stress wherever possible.
  • Learning healthy ways to manage stress
  • Building strong connections with family, friends and caring adults.

These steps help create safe and supportive environments where children and adults can grow and do well, no matter what hard things they have faced.

Positive Childhood Experiences (PCEs) are good things that help children feel safe, cared for and important. They help children grow in healthy ways, protect them from harm and help build resilience.

Being resilient makes it more likely that your child will have:

  • better health
  • longer life
  • more success in school and work
  • happier relationships
  • less depression

Examples of PCEs:

  • Having supportive, nurturing relationships with caregivers and other adults.
  • Feeling connected to family, friends or their community.
  • Playing, exploring and learning in a safe place.
  • Getting support to learn healthy ways to manage stress.
  • Feeling connected to their culture or identity.

Building a resilient community is something we can all do together. Everyone has a role in helping children grow up in a safe, supportive environment with caring adults.

Ways to build your own resilience

  • Learn more about Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) and how to break the cycle of trauma
  • Build supportive, healthy relationships with people you trust
  • Learn and practice healthy ways to cope with stress
  • Participate in activities that connect your family to your community, culture or faith
  • Keep regular routines
  • Take care of your body with enough sleep, healthy food and find ways to stay active

Ways to build resilience in children

  • Spend quality time together: Eat meals, play games, go for a walk or read together
  • Comfort your child when they are upset, give them attention and love
  • Get to know your child’s friends
  • Encourage your child to try new activities in a safe way
  • Help your child identify, accept and name their feelings
  • Model and teach your child calming exercises such as drawing, snuggling with a pet, reading, deep breathing and watching a happy video
Date modified: June 1, 2026