Sex During Pregnancy

Sexuality during pregnancy is more than deciding whether to have sex or not.

Sexuality includes how you feel about your:

  • pregnancy
  • changing body
  • changing emotions
  • partner(s) [if you have any])

This can affect whether you want to be sexual or how you want to be sexual. There are many reasons why you may not feel sexual, including but not limited to:

  • fatigue
  • nausea
  • frequent urination (peeing)
  • breast tenderness
  • trouble sleeping
  • heartburn
  • physical pain or discomfort during sexual activity

On the other hand, pregnancy can lead to feelings of sexual excitement, and you may desire to have frequent sexual contact. Your level of desire may fluctuate with time. Each of us also has our own unique way to express desire.

In addition, sex can also be a way that people deal with pain and/or stress. Regardless of what you feel, it’s part of your journey.

How you feel emotionally can also affect whether you want to have sex, have an orgasm, be alone or be with someone.

Maybe you’re worried about:

  • hurting the baby
  • starting early labour
  • whether or not you will be a good parent
  • money

Maybe you’re confused about:

  • your feelings towards your partner(s)
  • whether or not your partner(s) finds you attractive
  • how to tell your partner(s) what feels good and what doesn’t

Connecting with your partner(s) is important during sexual activity. Here are some suggested actions:

  • Ask your partner, “How are you feeling?”
  • Express your feelings and say what feels good and what doesn’t.
  • Try to keep a sense of humour about this new situation.
  • Be patient with each other.
  • Show tenderness in other ways: hugs, kisses, holding hands and caresses.
  • Have sex at times of the day when nausea, heartburn or fatigue don’t affect you as much.
  • To protect your belly when you are on the bottom, have your partner support their weight on their arms.
  • You may feel more comfortable on top.
  • Try the “spoon position” with their front against your back. They enter you from behind.
  • Consider other types of sexual activity including oral sex, mutual masturbation, etc.
  • Masturbation on your own might be a great way to connect with your body, your sexual needs or desires and manage stress.

Contact your healthcare provider if you:

  • Have a medical condition, including a history of miscarriage, that may affect whether you can safely have any sexual activity.
  • Think you may have a sexually transmitted infection (STI), including HIV, which can affect your health, especially during pregnancy.
  • Have feelings of extreme sadness or are crying a lot.
  • Think you may be in a dangerous situation. Is someone including your partner(s) forcing you to have sex when you don’t want to? Is someone threatening you or hurting you in any other way?

If your healthcare provider has advised you not to have sex, clarify what sexual activity is off limits, and for how long:

  • Is masturbation okay?
  • Is having an orgasm safe?
  • Might oral or anal sex be a safer choice?

For your health during and after your pregnancy, call:

Toronto Public Health
416-338-7600

For sexuality information, including locations of your local sexual health clinics, call:

Sexual Health Infoline Ontario (SHILO)
416-392-2437

For concerns about abuse, call:

Assaulted Women’s Helpline
416-863-0511