Children and Stress

How Stress Affects Children

Stress can affect how children feel and behave. They might:

• have headaches, tummy aches, tense muscles, fast heart rate, sweaty palms, or skin rash
• have trouble concentrating or solving problems
• eat more or less than usual
• sleep more or have trouble sleeping
• show changes in behaviour (like crying more or acting out)

Learning how to handle everyday stress in a healthy way is an important part of your child’s growth and development. Learn more on our Supporting Your Child’s Development page.

When you help your child manage everyday problems and difficult moments, they become stronger and better at handling stress.

Not all stress is bad. There are 3 types of stress: beneficial stress, tolerable stress and toxic stress.

Video: Toxic Stress — Alberta Family Wellness Initiative

Beneficial Stress

Beneficial stress is a normal and healthy part of life. It helps your child learn how to cope with challenges as they grow.

Examples of beneficial stress:

• Meeting new people
• Starting daycare or school
• Getting immunizations
• Learning rules and limits
• Getting along with siblings
• Trying to do well at school

Tolerable Stress

Tolerable stress is more serious, longer lasting and is often connected to a major event. A nurturing and caring relationship with your child can provide the support they need to manage through and recover from tolerable stress.

Examples of tolerable stress:

• Illness or injury
• Death of a loved one
• Serious illness of a family member
• Divorce or separation
• Moving to a new home

Toxic Stress

Toxic stress happens when a child experiences repeated or long-lasting stress without the support and care of an adult. Without this support, their body can’t turn off their stress response. This lasting stress can have long term effects on their physical, emotional and mental health.

Examples of toxic stress:

• Abuse or neglect
• Parental addiction
• Parental depression
• Living with parents who are experiencing ongoing stress
• Experiencing racism

Supportive and stable relationships with caring adults can help to protect children from the effects of toxic stress.

Tips to Help Children Cope with Stress

• Let your child talk.
  Pay attention when your child is trying to tell you something and give them opportunities to talk about their everyday stresses. Ask how they might solve problems. Children build trust when they feel heard and supported.
• Teach feeling words.
  Help your child name their feelings. Use words like, “I feel angry”, “I am sad”, or “I am afraid”. When children can talk about feelings, they are better at solving problems..
• Notice changes in behaviour.
  Stress can show up as headaches, tummy aches, poor sleep, or changes in eating and behaviour.
• Keep home calm and organized.
  Children do better with routines and guidance. Plan time for homework, sleep, and getting ready for the next day. Make time for play, physical activity, and nutritious meals. Visit our Routines page for more ideas.
• Be a good role model.
  Show your child healthy ways to manage stress. They learn a lot by watching you. Find more tips on our Coping with Parenting Stress page.
• Teach calming strategies.
  Try simple techniques like stretching, deep breathing, visualization, quiet time, and physical or creative activity to help manage big feelings.
• Build confidence with positive self-talk.
  Remind your child they are capable and strong. Children handle challenges better when they believe in themselves.